SIRO-1304 Amateur Personal Filming, Submission. 266

About this work

Every year when December comes I feel depressed. It’s not that I hate Christmas — it’s because it makes me think of that person. I once had someone I truly fell in love with. I was still at an age when people would say I didn’t really understand love, but I loved him sincerely. We dated for about a year. After we’d been together for around six months, he told me he wanted to marry me. He was working, and he promised we’d be together once I graduated from school. Since I was little, my dream had been to be married by twenty and become a young mom. At that time I was on top of the world. But my bad habit came out. According to him, I had no sense of chastity. Even if I really loved him, I would casually sleep with other men. No matter how many times he warned me, it never changed. I didn’t even feel guilty. So when I found out I was pregnant, we had a terrible fight because he asked, “Is that child mine?” I was certain it was his. Then, one day in December, he left saying he had to work on his day off. I went to a rental shop to get a DVD. There I saw him: holding a child of about two years old and entering a nearby toy store with a woman about his age. My spine froze. Why? What is this? I couldn’t bring myself to watch the DVD when I got home; I kept turning it over in my head until he came back. I confronted him. It turned out he had a wife and child he was separated from, and apparently today was the child’s birthday. I thought, so I was being deceived. But then, what about the baby in my womb? “I plan to divorce my wife, but I can’t take care of that child,” he said. I thought I couldn’t give birth and raise a child on my own. In the end, I parted ways with him and with the baby. It happened in December.